Today Pastor took me for a tour around Ngara town. Mainly it was really boring, shaking the hands of important officials and struggling to understand convos in Kiswahili.
As an aside, Pastor wanted to take me to a fancy hotel where important visitors stay, the Africana. It was previously run by UNHCR, it was the compound where all of the aid workers lived during the Rwanda and Burundi crises. It was built of old railroad containers, probably close to fifty little yellow bandas with thatched roofs. There is an open air cafeteria with a stunning view of the valley. The place is in shambles. Vines grow out of the fireplace that used to cast a warm glow over the expats having a drink after a long day at the camp. I can hear the hum of conversation and see the cigarette smoke.
The grounds are beautifully landscaped with equatorial flowers and trees – but everything is overgrown and dilapidated. The grass is two feet tall, the hedges are bushy, there are holes in the thatch roof. It is strangely sad to see that a place once so vibrant is now so dead.
We then go to visit one of the district commissioners whose office is housed in the old UN headquarters for the refugee crisis. The compound is sky blue and white, with white rocks lining the spots for ghost landcruzers. We walk over to see row after row of container offices, a small percent of which are actually being used. It amazes me to think about what was once here. What was once the biggest refugee operation in the world now amounts to a bunch of empty railroad containers.
I should be happy that things have improved enough that Rwandans and Burundians can return home, but I am sad. It feels like a ghost town. This place was built around tragic conflicts, but we have deemed everything good enough, packed up and gone home. Maybe what is so haunting about this, is this feeling that things are not ok. I keep hearing whispers from researchers and journalists, keep seeing buried headlines about the storm that is brewing in Rwanda. Unfortunately, it would fit with historical trends. The Hutus and the Tutsis tend to take turns ruling the country, separated by mass conflict. Some of us wondered if the ’94 genocide was brutal enough, that there was enough lives lost, to make everyone say enough is enough. But, seemingly, some things go deeper.
There is a part of me that resents everyone who left this tumultuous Great Lakes Region feeling like the job is finished. Maybe they didn’t feel that way, just the leadership of the organizations. There is still critical work to be done. Reconciliation is the most important aspect of a conflict and too frequently it receives the smallest amount of time and resources.
After visiting the UN compound, we visit the one remaining functioning project from the crisis. Radio Kwizera, Radio Hope. At the time of the genocide, Rwandese were spread all over the bush and there was no way of contacting them about available food, shelter and assistance. They started a radio station and distributed solar radios to strategic locations. In Rwanda during the genocide, the radio was used as a weapon of war. It was used to dehumanize the Tutsi’s , to notify attackers of Tutsi hiding places. After the radio had been used to further the genocide, Radio Kwizera wanted to show the compassionate side of the media. To make it cliché – to use the radio for good and not evil.
The refugees have returned home now, but Radio Kwizera has not closed its doors. The station is received in Burundi, Rwanda and Eastern DRC. They are using their radio waves to promote peace and reconciliation. The Great Lakes Region is heading into a period of elections in every country. It is critical that people are discussing wide spread participation, informed voting, legitimacy and transparency, peace and unity. There is hope in this radio station. The mere fact that they are still here is a start.
It feels a bit trite to be writing about something that was so devastating to everyone here, especially when I was not. But, I am here now.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
My Sanctuary
I am greeted at the Border with big hugs by three of my new staff members. We sit and have a drink overlooking the Rwandan hills and Tanzanian highlands. I am working hard to find a balance where I do not come off as too young, and where they do not feel threatened or tested. They slip in and out of Kiswahili. I can usually understand the gist of their conversation, but I am nowhere near where I was two years ago. My brain is constantly in problem solving mode, trying to bridge the gap over the words I do not know. Currently we are debating which staple food is better, matoke (mashed green bananas) or posho (maize meal). Unfortunately, I am in matoke country.
Before I know it, I have a 12 month multiple entry visa and we are in our Landcruzer whizzing down the tarmac towards my new home. The first short cut is impassable due to the high waters of the river. During low water levels, there is a pulley bridge. Basically a platform that you drive one car on to and the man at the other end pulls it on cables to the other side. So we take shortcut number two. We turn right off the tarmac onto a red dirt road. “If you ever need to get back here, just tell them to take you to the prison” Pastor informs me. I am immediately transported. I had spent the last 20 hours driving through cities and towns on main roads, now I was driving through serious bush. Occasionally we pass through towns. When I say towns, I am being generous. Really they are clusters of homes with the occasional church; they lack shops or trading centers. We crest over hills and get phenomenal views of the Tanzanian highland plains and dive down hills into the bush that is taller than the car. “Karibu Tanzania” says Mama Mpinizle. I breathe deep, not having the words to describe my enjoyment at that moment. Despite all of the beauty, there is a voice in the back of my head asking, “Ngara can’t actually be this small, right?” Eventually we hit another tarmac road and I breathe a tiny sigh of relief.
We climb, and with each minute, the view becomes more spectacular. The wind wafts the smell of eucalyptus through the window. This smell has always meant home to me. The road right off the freeway to my grandparent’s house is lined with Eucalyptus trees, so when I smelled them, I always knew we were close. Pastor points to a town on top of a hill and tells me that is Ngara. I had been told that my house has a porch with an amazing view, so I start imaging that one of the houses I see on the eastern side of the hill is mine, overlooking the amazing valley.
I am disappointed as we fork off down a small road, seemingly down into the valley. Pastor greets everyone we pass as they stare at the Mzungu in the front seat. In about 10 minutes we pull off into the compound. It is not the traditional compound in that it does not have a fence, but it is four houses spread out across the ridge of a hill. The last one in is my house.
From the outside, the house is very unsuspecting. It is a simple L shape with gray cement walls. The front view is a bit of a letdown. There is a huge water catchment with pipes and hardware, and a few windows. Nothing to write (or blog) home about. Pastor unlocks the door and welcomes me to my new home. The front room is empty, just red cement floors and an empty shelf. Disappointing, I thought the house was fully furnished. I slip off my shoes and walk down three stairs. My jaw drops. To my left is a full kitchen with dark wood cabinets and countertops, a full sink, full fridge and a gas stove and oven. And a sky light. In front of me and stretching out to my right is the dining room, office and living room, complete with a fire place. Windows line the walls. The furnishing is a mix of rustic and modern with African art, ceramics and woven crafts decorating the space. There is a small TV, DVD player and sound system accompanied by a vast DVD collection and a shelf full of books on Africa history, politics, and some top notch literature (maybe I didn’t need to bring those thirty some-odd books, but better safe than sorry!).
Between the office and living room there is a door that leads to my porch. I step outside to see sweeping views of the Rwandan hills and the river valley floor. I am in shock. I am giddy. I try to keep my cool while my coworkers help me bring my stuff inside, but I am bursting with excitement and disbelief. This is totally a house I would dream about living in. Oh, wait, I do!
The hallway is lined with skylights. My room is at the very end, the eastern wall is lined with wooden doors for closets and storage. The northern and western walls have 3 windows lighting the room beautifully. In the center is a double bed with a light down comforter, draped in a white mosquito net. There are many thoughts running through my head, but the most prominent is, man this sure beats my twin bunk bed that I could not sit up in and that was too short, forcing my feet to angle over the foot board and get tangled in my mosquito net.
There is a full bathroom, shower, hot water heater, the works.
There is a garden outside, that, in my future life I will visit with my kitchen knife, selecting romaine lettuce, French beans, cilantro and papaya for my dinner.
My coworkers are eager to get home, as it is 6:30pm on a Friday. We say goodbye and make plans to go to the weekly market that just so happens to be on Saturdays. As they drive off I let out a giddy scream, do a little dance and just revel in my new home.
This house just demands a nice glass of red wine. So I scour the kitchen, and what do I find…I bring my glass of cab and the letter from my predecessor and settle into the couch on my porch to watch the sunset. The light wind rustles the leaves of the faithful eucalyptus trees. The east is orange and the hills below blue in the fading light.
…
The founder of my organization is married to a UN worker who was here working in the aftermath of the Rwandan genocide and the ongoing instability in Burundi. Currently they live in Thailand, but they keep this house as their home as it is where their kids were born, and it is heaven. They come home once a year for a month and allow the Director to stay in the house the rest of the year. I marvel at the idea that someone who keeps such a beautiful house would hire me to lead her organization and say a little thank you to the United Nations. I sip my wine.
Photos:
http://picasaweb.google.com/rksantos/HowDifferentLifeCanBeLifeInNgaraTZ#
Before I know it, I have a 12 month multiple entry visa and we are in our Landcruzer whizzing down the tarmac towards my new home. The first short cut is impassable due to the high waters of the river. During low water levels, there is a pulley bridge. Basically a platform that you drive one car on to and the man at the other end pulls it on cables to the other side. So we take shortcut number two. We turn right off the tarmac onto a red dirt road. “If you ever need to get back here, just tell them to take you to the prison” Pastor informs me. I am immediately transported. I had spent the last 20 hours driving through cities and towns on main roads, now I was driving through serious bush. Occasionally we pass through towns. When I say towns, I am being generous. Really they are clusters of homes with the occasional church; they lack shops or trading centers. We crest over hills and get phenomenal views of the Tanzanian highland plains and dive down hills into the bush that is taller than the car. “Karibu Tanzania” says Mama Mpinizle. I breathe deep, not having the words to describe my enjoyment at that moment. Despite all of the beauty, there is a voice in the back of my head asking, “Ngara can’t actually be this small, right?” Eventually we hit another tarmac road and I breathe a tiny sigh of relief.
We climb, and with each minute, the view becomes more spectacular. The wind wafts the smell of eucalyptus through the window. This smell has always meant home to me. The road right off the freeway to my grandparent’s house is lined with Eucalyptus trees, so when I smelled them, I always knew we were close. Pastor points to a town on top of a hill and tells me that is Ngara. I had been told that my house has a porch with an amazing view, so I start imaging that one of the houses I see on the eastern side of the hill is mine, overlooking the amazing valley.
I am disappointed as we fork off down a small road, seemingly down into the valley. Pastor greets everyone we pass as they stare at the Mzungu in the front seat. In about 10 minutes we pull off into the compound. It is not the traditional compound in that it does not have a fence, but it is four houses spread out across the ridge of a hill. The last one in is my house.
From the outside, the house is very unsuspecting. It is a simple L shape with gray cement walls. The front view is a bit of a letdown. There is a huge water catchment with pipes and hardware, and a few windows. Nothing to write (or blog) home about. Pastor unlocks the door and welcomes me to my new home. The front room is empty, just red cement floors and an empty shelf. Disappointing, I thought the house was fully furnished. I slip off my shoes and walk down three stairs. My jaw drops. To my left is a full kitchen with dark wood cabinets and countertops, a full sink, full fridge and a gas stove and oven. And a sky light. In front of me and stretching out to my right is the dining room, office and living room, complete with a fire place. Windows line the walls. The furnishing is a mix of rustic and modern with African art, ceramics and woven crafts decorating the space. There is a small TV, DVD player and sound system accompanied by a vast DVD collection and a shelf full of books on Africa history, politics, and some top notch literature (maybe I didn’t need to bring those thirty some-odd books, but better safe than sorry!).
Between the office and living room there is a door that leads to my porch. I step outside to see sweeping views of the Rwandan hills and the river valley floor. I am in shock. I am giddy. I try to keep my cool while my coworkers help me bring my stuff inside, but I am bursting with excitement and disbelief. This is totally a house I would dream about living in. Oh, wait, I do!
The hallway is lined with skylights. My room is at the very end, the eastern wall is lined with wooden doors for closets and storage. The northern and western walls have 3 windows lighting the room beautifully. In the center is a double bed with a light down comforter, draped in a white mosquito net. There are many thoughts running through my head, but the most prominent is, man this sure beats my twin bunk bed that I could not sit up in and that was too short, forcing my feet to angle over the foot board and get tangled in my mosquito net.
There is a full bathroom, shower, hot water heater, the works.
There is a garden outside, that, in my future life I will visit with my kitchen knife, selecting romaine lettuce, French beans, cilantro and papaya for my dinner.
My coworkers are eager to get home, as it is 6:30pm on a Friday. We say goodbye and make plans to go to the weekly market that just so happens to be on Saturdays. As they drive off I let out a giddy scream, do a little dance and just revel in my new home.
This house just demands a nice glass of red wine. So I scour the kitchen, and what do I find…I bring my glass of cab and the letter from my predecessor and settle into the couch on my porch to watch the sunset. The light wind rustles the leaves of the faithful eucalyptus trees. The east is orange and the hills below blue in the fading light.
…
The founder of my organization is married to a UN worker who was here working in the aftermath of the Rwandan genocide and the ongoing instability in Burundi. Currently they live in Thailand, but they keep this house as their home as it is where their kids were born, and it is heaven. They come home once a year for a month and allow the Director to stay in the house the rest of the year. I marvel at the idea that someone who keeps such a beautiful house would hire me to lead her organization and say a little thank you to the United Nations. I sip my wine.
Photos:
http://picasaweb.google.com/rksantos/HowDifferentLifeCanBeLifeInNgaraTZ#
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Cost of Knowing
I am in the kitchen cooking, drinking and listening to music. I hear Eileen open the door, and before I look at her I ask cheerily, “How was your day?” She turns the corner into the kitchen and I see it on her face. I see the mental and emotional exhaustion that comes from seeing kids living on the streets because their uncles can’t afford to take them in, women working on the sex market to feed a family left by the father, people bed ridden from curable diseases because they can’t afford the treatment.
My good friend Eileen is visiting, she wanted to do a photo project in the developing world. Last minute, I throw together a gig for her, excited that I get to spend a few weeks with an old friend. I would describe Eileen as a world traveler, and definitely someone I have always wanted to travel with. When connecting her to this orphanage for street kids in one of the many large slums of Kampala, I did not even think twice about whether it would be too much. She can handle anything. And, as it turns out, she can.
But those first few nights, after her initial exposure to the slums, it was disarming to see the tears in her eyes; the confusion, disappointment and helplessness. I pour her a glass of whatever I’m drinking, and we go sit on the roof to hash it out. She tells me about the people she had met, where they came from and the lives they now live. The things she saw as she walked through the slum. Overarching everything was this sentiment of this is just one orphanage, in one slum, in one city, in one country. She wanted to do something about it, but was at a loss.
As she talks, I don’t feel much except for her sorrow, the tragedy of the transformation she was going through from seeing this other part of the world. I feel bad that she now has this madness inside her. What I didn’t feel was sorrow for the kids, or the sick, or the hungry. What she was feeling was so raw, and I had none of it left inside of me - at least not in that form.
As she goes off to bed, I remain on the roof and wonder about this. When did I go from crazy college student shouting at the top of her lungs to get one person to know about what Darfur was, let alone care about it, from the personal breakdown I experienced after returning from Malawi – my first developing world travel— to this person, who can hear some of the most devastating stories, and not even feel the tug of a heart string or a turn of the stomach. How does such a transformation occur?
Maybe it comes in realizing your own capacity. In knowing that even if I gave a kid lunch today, he will still be hungry tomorrow. Even if I paid for the woman’s medical bills, she would still return home to sleep without a mosquito net or eat vegetables washed in sewage. At some point in the past, it became too much for me. Everything is interconnected and it is impossible to take it all on at once. There is a switch I flipped a while ago that enables me to live this life without that madness. I move through Kampala in a sort of tunnel vision – I listen without hearing, I think without absorbing, I walk without seeing, I live without feeling. I need to un-flip this switch, at least occasionally.
At some point I learned that a great deal of damage has been done out of the fear, sorrow and guilt of the privileged. In the face of our impotence to change these matters we hastily throw money at it, we have this need to give tangible things. But in the long run, what does it solve? Tomorrow a tourist is going to come and see the exact same sights, and try the exact same thing, and all it really achieves is a sense of dependency on part of the poor and an ease of the conscience for the tourist.
I choose instead to focus on the positive power of people here. I am constantly coming into contact with people who are taking action into their own hands. They are not waiting on handouts from foreigners, they are done relying on the government, instead they are coming up with creative solutions to their community’s problems. Even better, I found an org that empowers people to do just that.
Gregory David Roberts after experiencing a moment of profound human darkness says this, “There is a truth that’s deeper than experience. It’s beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It’s an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever and the reality from perception. Were helpless, usually, in the face of it, and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn’t help us to love the world; but it does prevent us from hating the world.”
I am here now. Some of my colleagues would say I have seen too much for a twenty-five year old. I have seen things that would make a person give up on the world, give up on humanity, but knowing what you know, understanding this truth I find it impossible to give up. I have met people that will turn a heart cold, and experienced things that have eaten away at my love for humanity, but there is a reward to living this life; meeting those people who will save it, if only in their small corner of the world.
My good friend Eileen is visiting, she wanted to do a photo project in the developing world. Last minute, I throw together a gig for her, excited that I get to spend a few weeks with an old friend. I would describe Eileen as a world traveler, and definitely someone I have always wanted to travel with. When connecting her to this orphanage for street kids in one of the many large slums of Kampala, I did not even think twice about whether it would be too much. She can handle anything. And, as it turns out, she can.
But those first few nights, after her initial exposure to the slums, it was disarming to see the tears in her eyes; the confusion, disappointment and helplessness. I pour her a glass of whatever I’m drinking, and we go sit on the roof to hash it out. She tells me about the people she had met, where they came from and the lives they now live. The things she saw as she walked through the slum. Overarching everything was this sentiment of this is just one orphanage, in one slum, in one city, in one country. She wanted to do something about it, but was at a loss.
As she talks, I don’t feel much except for her sorrow, the tragedy of the transformation she was going through from seeing this other part of the world. I feel bad that she now has this madness inside her. What I didn’t feel was sorrow for the kids, or the sick, or the hungry. What she was feeling was so raw, and I had none of it left inside of me - at least not in that form.
As she goes off to bed, I remain on the roof and wonder about this. When did I go from crazy college student shouting at the top of her lungs to get one person to know about what Darfur was, let alone care about it, from the personal breakdown I experienced after returning from Malawi – my first developing world travel— to this person, who can hear some of the most devastating stories, and not even feel the tug of a heart string or a turn of the stomach. How does such a transformation occur?
Maybe it comes in realizing your own capacity. In knowing that even if I gave a kid lunch today, he will still be hungry tomorrow. Even if I paid for the woman’s medical bills, she would still return home to sleep without a mosquito net or eat vegetables washed in sewage. At some point in the past, it became too much for me. Everything is interconnected and it is impossible to take it all on at once. There is a switch I flipped a while ago that enables me to live this life without that madness. I move through Kampala in a sort of tunnel vision – I listen without hearing, I think without absorbing, I walk without seeing, I live without feeling. I need to un-flip this switch, at least occasionally.
At some point I learned that a great deal of damage has been done out of the fear, sorrow and guilt of the privileged. In the face of our impotence to change these matters we hastily throw money at it, we have this need to give tangible things. But in the long run, what does it solve? Tomorrow a tourist is going to come and see the exact same sights, and try the exact same thing, and all it really achieves is a sense of dependency on part of the poor and an ease of the conscience for the tourist.
I choose instead to focus on the positive power of people here. I am constantly coming into contact with people who are taking action into their own hands. They are not waiting on handouts from foreigners, they are done relying on the government, instead they are coming up with creative solutions to their community’s problems. Even better, I found an org that empowers people to do just that.
Gregory David Roberts after experiencing a moment of profound human darkness says this, “There is a truth that’s deeper than experience. It’s beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It’s an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever and the reality from perception. Were helpless, usually, in the face of it, and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn’t help us to love the world; but it does prevent us from hating the world.”
I am here now. Some of my colleagues would say I have seen too much for a twenty-five year old. I have seen things that would make a person give up on the world, give up on humanity, but knowing what you know, understanding this truth I find it impossible to give up. I have met people that will turn a heart cold, and experienced things that have eaten away at my love for humanity, but there is a reward to living this life; meeting those people who will save it, if only in their small corner of the world.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A not so silent night
As I step off the boda on the tarmac and onto the eroded dirt road kids in ragged clothes and big smiles run and slip their hands into mine. They escort me to the orphanage I am partnering with, only really communicating through smiles and the swinging of arms.
Inside the orphanage I wander around the side where I find two teenagers playing a silver tuba and trumpet that look as though they have made a tour around the world before they made it to this orphanage. It is school holiday, so kids are running around everywhere, but these two boys are practicing. I explain to them my dad’s affinity for the tuba and how random outbursts of “Tuba Love” are relatively normal. They stare at me, failing in their attempt to mask the fact that they believe I might be crazy.
Two younger boys come and welcome me with warm hugs, grab my hands and help me find my way to the office. I am greeted by five twenty-something men, the founders and administrative staff of the orphanage, “Welcome Madame Rachel”. I am still coming to terms with being a Madame…
This is by far the coolest orphanage I have encountered – an orphanage for street kids by street kids. Everyone that works there and lives there once lived on the street - begging, collecting recyclables, fetching water, pick-pocketing or working as a house boy/girl.
When Bosco was 11 his mother, went to town and never came back. He heard through relatives that she had died in some vague accident. His dad was already gone, Bosco was left alone with his two sisters to look after. He spent his days collecting plastic bottles and fetching water for what amounts to about fifty cents. While scavenging in the Nsambya slums he came across some boys playing brass band – he was enraptured. It became his goal to be able to play as they play. It turns out these boys were practicing for a local school, so he asks the teacher if he could learn. The teacher refuses, the band is only for students (and street kids are rather stigmatized here). But he persists. He really wants to play. Eventually the teacher submits, and allows him to play as long as he pays 500 shillings(twenty-five cents) each lesson. Bosco agrees, and works harder to collect money in the slums so that he can raise his music fee and feed his sisters.
Eventually Bosco invites more street kids to join him in class, and eventually convinces a visitor to help him get a home to establish their own band. This visitor buys them five instruments and a two room house. One room for the boys and one for the girls. After raising his sisters, Bosco is hyper aware of girls issues, especially those struggling on the street. The house becomes a center and in time, a man from the UK buys them a larger house that is the orphanage and music school today. They write for corporate sponsorships and have band uniforms from MTN and coca cola and fundraise through concerts and playing special events. The house currently sleeps about 75, but another 75 street kids come on any given day to play music, sing, dance and eat. They are now a big family, calling the older boys Uncle, and me in my subsequent visits, Auntie.
What blows my mind here is Bosco at 11 thinking not just about himself, but about other kids on the street. Bosco could have just learned music on his own, and not think about bringing in other kids from the slum. When he was given a house, he didn’t have to invite others to stay. At 11 years old, he was thinking beyond his own needs about those of his community. All 75 kids living at the center have school fees paid for by fundraising and private donors. The staff all work for free in exchange for housing and food. And about once a month, the kids do community work. The community no longer looks down on the street kids as they once had. Bosco has built something quite remarkable.
The music program fills a very deep hole in the lives of street kids. It fills them with passion, dedication and drive. The kids are not forced to get their instruments out and practice, it is what keeps them going. As we finish up the tour, Bosco takes me around back.
The band has gathered in secret to surprise me. The moment we step around the corner they start into a rousing rendition of Silent Night. It begins slow and traditional, but after the first verse, the tuba steps in on a double beat, the choir sings faster and louder, the conductor’s body jolts full of energy and they all begin to dance to what will forever be my favorite version of Silent Night. I have the goofiest smile across my face and start dancing with the kids that remain on my arms.
Inside the orphanage I wander around the side where I find two teenagers playing a silver tuba and trumpet that look as though they have made a tour around the world before they made it to this orphanage. It is school holiday, so kids are running around everywhere, but these two boys are practicing. I explain to them my dad’s affinity for the tuba and how random outbursts of “Tuba Love” are relatively normal. They stare at me, failing in their attempt to mask the fact that they believe I might be crazy.
Two younger boys come and welcome me with warm hugs, grab my hands and help me find my way to the office. I am greeted by five twenty-something men, the founders and administrative staff of the orphanage, “Welcome Madame Rachel”. I am still coming to terms with being a Madame…
This is by far the coolest orphanage I have encountered – an orphanage for street kids by street kids. Everyone that works there and lives there once lived on the street - begging, collecting recyclables, fetching water, pick-pocketing or working as a house boy/girl.
When Bosco was 11 his mother, went to town and never came back. He heard through relatives that she had died in some vague accident. His dad was already gone, Bosco was left alone with his two sisters to look after. He spent his days collecting plastic bottles and fetching water for what amounts to about fifty cents. While scavenging in the Nsambya slums he came across some boys playing brass band – he was enraptured. It became his goal to be able to play as they play. It turns out these boys were practicing for a local school, so he asks the teacher if he could learn. The teacher refuses, the band is only for students (and street kids are rather stigmatized here). But he persists. He really wants to play. Eventually the teacher submits, and allows him to play as long as he pays 500 shillings(twenty-five cents) each lesson. Bosco agrees, and works harder to collect money in the slums so that he can raise his music fee and feed his sisters.
Eventually Bosco invites more street kids to join him in class, and eventually convinces a visitor to help him get a home to establish their own band. This visitor buys them five instruments and a two room house. One room for the boys and one for the girls. After raising his sisters, Bosco is hyper aware of girls issues, especially those struggling on the street. The house becomes a center and in time, a man from the UK buys them a larger house that is the orphanage and music school today. They write for corporate sponsorships and have band uniforms from MTN and coca cola and fundraise through concerts and playing special events. The house currently sleeps about 75, but another 75 street kids come on any given day to play music, sing, dance and eat. They are now a big family, calling the older boys Uncle, and me in my subsequent visits, Auntie.
What blows my mind here is Bosco at 11 thinking not just about himself, but about other kids on the street. Bosco could have just learned music on his own, and not think about bringing in other kids from the slum. When he was given a house, he didn’t have to invite others to stay. At 11 years old, he was thinking beyond his own needs about those of his community. All 75 kids living at the center have school fees paid for by fundraising and private donors. The staff all work for free in exchange for housing and food. And about once a month, the kids do community work. The community no longer looks down on the street kids as they once had. Bosco has built something quite remarkable.
The music program fills a very deep hole in the lives of street kids. It fills them with passion, dedication and drive. The kids are not forced to get their instruments out and practice, it is what keeps them going. As we finish up the tour, Bosco takes me around back.
The band has gathered in secret to surprise me. The moment we step around the corner they start into a rousing rendition of Silent Night. It begins slow and traditional, but after the first verse, the tuba steps in on a double beat, the choir sings faster and louder, the conductor’s body jolts full of energy and they all begin to dance to what will forever be my favorite version of Silent Night. I have the goofiest smile across my face and start dancing with the kids that remain on my arms.
The sun is setting, Kenya is burning
He orders a double tequila and orange juice. I think, ‘wow I like the way he rolls, but it is 1pm’ and order a Nile beer. After all, it is 1pm on my first Saturday off in months. We are at a pool with a view, The Best View in Kampala in fact. It is up on the hill overlooking the edge of town and the start of the Great Lake. We are the only people at the pool - it is stunning, the beauty, the quiet, the peace.
In a break in our saga of life stories, the drinks arrive and silence follows. Absolute silence. There is not a church down the hill practicing the organ. There is not a man nailing iron sheets to his roof. There is not a matatu blowing his horn and kicking up dust, there are not kids calling to each other on the football pitch. SILENCE. I instinctively take a deep breath, a sip of beer and lay back on my recliner. This is the life…
It only takes a few minutes for this peace to turn to disquiet. An unknown tense anxiety rolls over me. I can’t place it. I walk to the end of the pool and look out over town. I expect to see tufts of smoke rising over burning Kikuyu businesses and homes. I am taken back to Kenya two years ago. The quiet in the days following the election was deafening - thick with tension.
I am sitting out back of Marcus’ apartment anxiously pretending to read a book about a travel journalist in East Africa, hoping the neighbors will turn on the international news. Kenya broadcast TV and radio have been shut down. Waiting. Every hour or so Nate would check in on me and see if I heard anything. I was going mad - I felt the madness of the country. It wasn’t even my country, but I felt the pulse of the people - quickening. I needed to stop thinking about the what-if’s for a moment, so I walk to the road just as the cops shoot tear gas at empty shops where one too many people had gathered.
It wasn’t my country, but that day when I heard the election results announced on the radio in favor of Kibaki I started crying. The country had stopped, held its breath, waiting, praying that this would not be the result. People knew what was coming long before the announcement. I go inside to tell my friends the result, they don’t believe it. Charles chuckles cynically, knowing he had just won 5,000 Kenyan shillings in a rigged election.
Without really thinking, I immediately leave- I need to talk to people. To get a sense of the destruction that was to come. People that voted for Kibaki were afraid to tell me, and were just as upset by what had happened. They knew that their man had stolen the election, and they too were scared, not just for repercussions of having supported Kibaki, but the repercussions of a government that is derived from corruption. I walk out to the road where I have a decent view of Kericho. It is burning. I hear the pops of gun shots in town. Right in front of me, I see men hoping over fences-running.
I find myself on a rooftop, watching Kenya burn as the sun sets. The people in the apartment nearby invite me in to watch the inauguration of the President. This is thirty minutes after the results were announced. The ceremony is in secret, only about twenty of Kibaki’s closest party members are present. Only one TV station is covering the event, but it is the only thing allowed on air, so there is no real difficulty finding the right station. There is no pomp. There is no circumstance. Just making it official. I felt dirty watching it. I cried with the people gathered in the small room. A few shook their hands at the TV crying, “The blood is on your hands.”
People had hope for this election. They finally had the opportunity to express true democracy. They no longer had to live under a dictator, and they no longer had to make alliances they didn’t believe in inorder to depose that dictator. They had a choice, and looked to the future. But the ruling elite didn’t like their version of the future.
Morgan inquires after my sudden solitude. I begin to go into the moment I was just in but feel myself sinking. I dive into the pool and return to my beer.
In a break in our saga of life stories, the drinks arrive and silence follows. Absolute silence. There is not a church down the hill practicing the organ. There is not a man nailing iron sheets to his roof. There is not a matatu blowing his horn and kicking up dust, there are not kids calling to each other on the football pitch. SILENCE. I instinctively take a deep breath, a sip of beer and lay back on my recliner. This is the life…
It only takes a few minutes for this peace to turn to disquiet. An unknown tense anxiety rolls over me. I can’t place it. I walk to the end of the pool and look out over town. I expect to see tufts of smoke rising over burning Kikuyu businesses and homes. I am taken back to Kenya two years ago. The quiet in the days following the election was deafening - thick with tension.
I am sitting out back of Marcus’ apartment anxiously pretending to read a book about a travel journalist in East Africa, hoping the neighbors will turn on the international news. Kenya broadcast TV and radio have been shut down. Waiting. Every hour or so Nate would check in on me and see if I heard anything. I was going mad - I felt the madness of the country. It wasn’t even my country, but I felt the pulse of the people - quickening. I needed to stop thinking about the what-if’s for a moment, so I walk to the road just as the cops shoot tear gas at empty shops where one too many people had gathered.
It wasn’t my country, but that day when I heard the election results announced on the radio in favor of Kibaki I started crying. The country had stopped, held its breath, waiting, praying that this would not be the result. People knew what was coming long before the announcement. I go inside to tell my friends the result, they don’t believe it. Charles chuckles cynically, knowing he had just won 5,000 Kenyan shillings in a rigged election.
Without really thinking, I immediately leave- I need to talk to people. To get a sense of the destruction that was to come. People that voted for Kibaki were afraid to tell me, and were just as upset by what had happened. They knew that their man had stolen the election, and they too were scared, not just for repercussions of having supported Kibaki, but the repercussions of a government that is derived from corruption. I walk out to the road where I have a decent view of Kericho. It is burning. I hear the pops of gun shots in town. Right in front of me, I see men hoping over fences-running.
I find myself on a rooftop, watching Kenya burn as the sun sets. The people in the apartment nearby invite me in to watch the inauguration of the President. This is thirty minutes after the results were announced. The ceremony is in secret, only about twenty of Kibaki’s closest party members are present. Only one TV station is covering the event, but it is the only thing allowed on air, so there is no real difficulty finding the right station. There is no pomp. There is no circumstance. Just making it official. I felt dirty watching it. I cried with the people gathered in the small room. A few shook their hands at the TV crying, “The blood is on your hands.”
People had hope for this election. They finally had the opportunity to express true democracy. They no longer had to live under a dictator, and they no longer had to make alliances they didn’t believe in inorder to depose that dictator. They had a choice, and looked to the future. But the ruling elite didn’t like their version of the future.
Morgan inquires after my sudden solitude. I begin to go into the moment I was just in but feel myself sinking. I dive into the pool and return to my beer.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Benson
“Whoever gets education may also become strong leaders, may learn to change things, but the rebels did not want the war to ever end.”
This quote is from Benson Wereje, a refugee from Congo, describing why the Congolese rebels attacked school children, attacked his school. Benson’s life and dedication has become one of the deepest roots of Educate!. Every mentor and every student that passes through our program reads his story, and after they meet him for the first time, a little fire is lit inside. I met Benson for the first time this last weekend. Though, when I met him, he was no longer the frightened young boy running for his life through the Congolese forest towards some unknown destination that had to be better than his burning village. He is now a strong young student at one of East Africa’s best universities and the president of a successful refugee organization who returned earlier this year to his home village to establish his community development organization at the request of President Kabila. Shaking Benson’s hand, a fire was re-ignited in me.
My Peace Corps experience and the aftermath of the Kenyan election made me a cynic. I continued pursing this line of work because it was at my core, this belief, and because to not try was unimaginable. But Benson, Benson gives me hope, he brought out the dormant in me.
After an overwhelming day like today-that started at 9am with me leading a 3 hour meeting with our six Ugandan mentors and went straight into creating the weekly newsletter, holding one-on-one meetings with my mentors, dealing with demands from the state side of our operation and ended at 7pm (only because I made myself stop) with me working on a white paper for the ministry of education-Benson’s story reaffirms why I am here - Why I moved across the world, away from every person I love, every comfort I enjoy and fast internet.
Education, civic empowerment, social responsibility. These ideas really can revolutionize the world. I believe in it, and in my three weeks here I have seen it .
This quote is from Benson Wereje, a refugee from Congo, describing why the Congolese rebels attacked school children, attacked his school. Benson’s life and dedication has become one of the deepest roots of Educate!. Every mentor and every student that passes through our program reads his story, and after they meet him for the first time, a little fire is lit inside. I met Benson for the first time this last weekend. Though, when I met him, he was no longer the frightened young boy running for his life through the Congolese forest towards some unknown destination that had to be better than his burning village. He is now a strong young student at one of East Africa’s best universities and the president of a successful refugee organization who returned earlier this year to his home village to establish his community development organization at the request of President Kabila. Shaking Benson’s hand, a fire was re-ignited in me.
My Peace Corps experience and the aftermath of the Kenyan election made me a cynic. I continued pursing this line of work because it was at my core, this belief, and because to not try was unimaginable. But Benson, Benson gives me hope, he brought out the dormant in me.
After an overwhelming day like today-that started at 9am with me leading a 3 hour meeting with our six Ugandan mentors and went straight into creating the weekly newsletter, holding one-on-one meetings with my mentors, dealing with demands from the state side of our operation and ended at 7pm (only because I made myself stop) with me working on a white paper for the ministry of education-Benson’s story reaffirms why I am here - Why I moved across the world, away from every person I love, every comfort I enjoy and fast internet.
Education, civic empowerment, social responsibility. These ideas really can revolutionize the world. I believe in it, and in my three weeks here I have seen it .
Nimerudi
I have returned. After 2 days of never ending flights and everlasting layovers, I step off the plane and am hit with the hot muggy mid-afternoon African air. To my right is the airport terminal, not be confused with a 3 door crumbling strip mall, and to my left the vast lake Victoria. I have returned. Jua Kali man. The sun is still so strong. I sleep walk my way through customs, crack a smile as I always do when I see my luggage on the belt (this simple joy comes after my first trip out here where I spent the first week without luggage) and wander my way to the arrivals gate where someone is to be holding a sign with my name on it. It almost felt like the corporate world where people in suits hold signs with the name of other people in suits. But then the non suit-wearing man holding the paper with my name on it gave me a big hug, and all felt right in the world.
Peace Corps was more cush than this. Emma, my greeter, and I immediately get on a matatu (minibus-public transit). The conductor decides to jam my two large bags in the back, where they of course do not fit, but maybe repeatedly slamming the door on them will work. At this moment, I am glad for my gut instinct that told me to keep the bag with the $700 camera in it with me. Apparently slamming the door on my bags eventually worked, because we are quickly speeding down the roads, through the hills that surround Lake Victoria. As we climb one hill, a matatu speeds past us honking and pointing to our rear. The back door had come open, and all of my worldly possessions threatened to spill out the back of the matatu. We stop to slam the door a few more times, and continue on.
Through the window I watch the women carrying water in their bright kangas, the mzee pushing his bike with bedroom furniture stacked over the back, the school kids drinking fanta outside shops and the street hawkers with their abundant collections of worthless shit stitch into the red African soil and the outstretched fingers of the great lake. Nimerudi.
The matatu stops. I am back at the old taxi park – Kampala’s chaotic, vibrant, potholed answer to NYC grand central. I help Emma into my backpack, grab my timbuk2 and duffel and we make our way to the final leg of my trip, another matatu, though this time, we opt to put the luggage on our laps.
We alight at a dirt road marked with an official Educate! sign. As I am led into my compound, my mouth drops. In front of me is a beautiful yard with mango, avocado and orange trees and a HUGE house with an external spiral stairway leading to the rooftop deck. The house itself is also the office. There are two large bedrooms, I share one with Maggie, a volunteer who arrived 2 months before me, and my boss, Angelica, has the other. There are two smaller rooms which serve as offices, a large common area which is the main office/meeting space and a large yet very ill-equipped kitchen. Out back there is a boys quarters with two rooms where Connie and Barbara our office staff/mentors and Joe, the Business Coordinator, stays along with whatever male visitor happens to be here at the moment.
I’m greeted by Maggie, who turned 24 this day. She has one of those kind faces and a voice that even when angry still carries joy. I drop my shit in our room and step into the hot shower. I let out a big sigh - in addition to the last 48 hours of airport grime, I wash away the incredibly difficult last year and a half of my life. Nimerudi…
Joe gives me a brief tour of our immediate world. We have electricity (most days), flushing toilets and a hot shower. As well as a man, Emma, who cleans, does dishes, and washes clothes. When I first heard this, I vowed to not have him wash my clothes. Then I realized that when I am lucky enough to find myself with a day off, I do not want to spend half of it scrubbing my clothes and wrists raw.
After living and working here for 3 weeks, the house seems much smaller than it first appeared.
The neighborhood is confused. There is a lot of building taking place. Big houses strewn about haphazardly intermixed with small wooden dukas (shacks that sell veggies and staple food items). When feeling ambitious enough, there is a big hill for me to run up with a breathtaking view of the lake. And gasping for breath I tend to be. Rolex’s are huge here! There are about three stands in 100 yards where a man occasionally sits with his jiko, and makes omelets rolled in chapatti (I ate two today). A few days a week, the morning hours are filled with the sound of weed-whackers. Yes. The people out here are rich enough to grow and maintain green lawns, but not rich enough to buy a proper lawn mower. So. The landscapers cut vast lawns with one tiny weed-whacker.
The power goes out. Maggie and Joe take me up to the rooftop to gaze at the dark sky, talk of African politics, enjoy some tusker malt and smoke. I decide not to start that last habit just yet…
Peace Corps was more cush than this. Emma, my greeter, and I immediately get on a matatu (minibus-public transit). The conductor decides to jam my two large bags in the back, where they of course do not fit, but maybe repeatedly slamming the door on them will work. At this moment, I am glad for my gut instinct that told me to keep the bag with the $700 camera in it with me. Apparently slamming the door on my bags eventually worked, because we are quickly speeding down the roads, through the hills that surround Lake Victoria. As we climb one hill, a matatu speeds past us honking and pointing to our rear. The back door had come open, and all of my worldly possessions threatened to spill out the back of the matatu. We stop to slam the door a few more times, and continue on.
Through the window I watch the women carrying water in their bright kangas, the mzee pushing his bike with bedroom furniture stacked over the back, the school kids drinking fanta outside shops and the street hawkers with their abundant collections of worthless shit stitch into the red African soil and the outstretched fingers of the great lake. Nimerudi.
The matatu stops. I am back at the old taxi park – Kampala’s chaotic, vibrant, potholed answer to NYC grand central. I help Emma into my backpack, grab my timbuk2 and duffel and we make our way to the final leg of my trip, another matatu, though this time, we opt to put the luggage on our laps.
We alight at a dirt road marked with an official Educate! sign. As I am led into my compound, my mouth drops. In front of me is a beautiful yard with mango, avocado and orange trees and a HUGE house with an external spiral stairway leading to the rooftop deck. The house itself is also the office. There are two large bedrooms, I share one with Maggie, a volunteer who arrived 2 months before me, and my boss, Angelica, has the other. There are two smaller rooms which serve as offices, a large common area which is the main office/meeting space and a large yet very ill-equipped kitchen. Out back there is a boys quarters with two rooms where Connie and Barbara our office staff/mentors and Joe, the Business Coordinator, stays along with whatever male visitor happens to be here at the moment.
I’m greeted by Maggie, who turned 24 this day. She has one of those kind faces and a voice that even when angry still carries joy. I drop my shit in our room and step into the hot shower. I let out a big sigh - in addition to the last 48 hours of airport grime, I wash away the incredibly difficult last year and a half of my life. Nimerudi…
Joe gives me a brief tour of our immediate world. We have electricity (most days), flushing toilets and a hot shower. As well as a man, Emma, who cleans, does dishes, and washes clothes. When I first heard this, I vowed to not have him wash my clothes. Then I realized that when I am lucky enough to find myself with a day off, I do not want to spend half of it scrubbing my clothes and wrists raw.
After living and working here for 3 weeks, the house seems much smaller than it first appeared.
The neighborhood is confused. There is a lot of building taking place. Big houses strewn about haphazardly intermixed with small wooden dukas (shacks that sell veggies and staple food items). When feeling ambitious enough, there is a big hill for me to run up with a breathtaking view of the lake. And gasping for breath I tend to be. Rolex’s are huge here! There are about three stands in 100 yards where a man occasionally sits with his jiko, and makes omelets rolled in chapatti (I ate two today). A few days a week, the morning hours are filled with the sound of weed-whackers. Yes. The people out here are rich enough to grow and maintain green lawns, but not rich enough to buy a proper lawn mower. So. The landscapers cut vast lawns with one tiny weed-whacker.
The power goes out. Maggie and Joe take me up to the rooftop to gaze at the dark sky, talk of African politics, enjoy some tusker malt and smoke. I decide not to start that last habit just yet…
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